The Cruiser, Katie and Bebo Beatings

I'm inspired by Twenty Major to invent some witty codenames for those with whom I interact each day. Today's is Cocky Colin, named so as he believes himself to be God's gift to women despite being the proud owner of just 1 notch in the headpost. A wealth of knowledge here then. Which is why I read the "joke" regarding Tom Cruise he sent me with a touch of.... well, I thought it would be shite. And it was!

"She wouldn't keep quiet if I was in the room with her" he remarks, at the top of the mail which explains about the whole Silent Birth thing, him eating placenta and the baby being named after the Scientology founders parrot! Now I'm not here to slag CC into the ground - but instead to fight this Tom Cruise knocking.

Look people - he's a scientologist. He's rich. He's successful. He's shagging Katie Holmes (I'm thinking of giving her another 6 months to come to her senses..... leave him for me, Katie!!!). He didn't sue the corpo for putting the ground so close to his ass. While people like CC and others are firing this mail around, Tom is probably sitting on a porch, looking at his porsche, trying to decide if Katie, Nicole or Peneolope was better in the sack. In other words, he has achieved what we only dream about - maybe not the placenta bit but the rest! So - in summary - I think I'll just delete that mail.

It's not like I don't have other mails. No. Piles. But I swear to God (sorry Tom... and LRH) if I get another friggin' Bebo friend request, I will find a *bebo* stick and beat the *bebo* shit out of a lot of *bebo* people. It's not like I'm anti web or social software - far from it. But I just find Bebo to be particularly annoying. So be warned people, TV3, RTE and INN will all be reporting the increase of in-office beatings in the west of Ireland very shortly... and you will know why!